4 mistakes that might make your nanny leave you
Once you have found a great nanny, you don’t ever want to lose them. But there are a few common mistakes families make that, over time, may make a nanny look for new employment elsewhere. We’ve gathered 4 mistakes we see families make that lead to a nanny leaving them.
1. Changing the schedule at a moment’s notice
If there’s one thing employees tend to appreciate, it’s knowing their schedule in advance and being able to rely on its continuity. Sure, things come up, but if you consistently ask your nanny to stay late, come in on days off or switch days entirely, they may find it too hard to fit working for you into their life balance.
Course correct: The key here is communication. Ensure that any schedule changes are discussed in advance and give your nanny time to adjust other commitments. If you have a regularly fluctuating schedule for a part-time caregive, consider hiring a full-time nanny to increase the chances that they will be able to accommodate your needs without having other part-time jobs or as many other obligations during the week.
2. Coming home late, every time
You’ve gone out of your way to hire a responsible caregiver for your kiddos, so you know they won’t just up and leave when their shift is over. This does not mean you can - or should - see their end time as a general suggestion and show up half an hour late each day, or return from evening outings hours after you’d said you’d be home.
Course correct: It’s inevitable - work runs over, parties are too fun to leave. If you are booking a sitter for an evening out and you’re unsure how late it will run, try booking with a solid margin, even if you end up coming home earlier. Alternately, give the sitter a heads up and ask if they have flexibility on the end time - and try to cap the flexibility at a maximum of one hour. If work or traffic cause you to be late, employ the same tactic you would like them to use in case of an unexpected late arrival: reach out as soon as possible, let them know your ETA, and try to keep these occurrences to a minimum. Your nanny will know that you respect their time and will most likely go out of their way to accommodate you in this uncommon occurrence.
3. Making it personal
The nanny-family relationship is such a special one. This person is an employee, and your home is their place of work. At the same time, your nanny works inside your home, sees you in your private environment, and takes care of your most precious and important loves: your children. This unique dynamic means sometimes the boundaries between private and professional get blurred, and it can be tempting to talk about personal issues and family problems while you are both in your home.
Course correct: You may become close with your nanny and have great, deep conversations while kiddos are napping, and that connection can really strengthen your bond and trust for one another. Just be sure to read the situation and ensure that your nanny is comfortable with the conversation. Remember that there is an inherent inequality present in the conversation since you are your nanny’s employer - and definitely keep any requests for taking sides in marital disagreements out of it.
4. Seeing scope creep as “not a big deal”
At the onset of your working relationship, you figured your babysitter would just be watching the kiddos, making sure they get to the end of the day. But now you’ve realized you have an amazing caregiver on your hands, and they are very capable of cooking for the kiddos, and doing laundry, and running errands, and… What may seem like small asks at first can quickly start taking up a lot of the nanny’s time and effort - potentially taking it away from their engagement with your child.
Course correct: The secret to a great, long-lasting working relationship with a caregiver who goes above and beyond is spelling out all the responsibilities of a position at the onset. All the tasks listed above are reasonable asks as long as the sitter or nanny has agreed to them - and is being reasonably compensated for doing them. If you find that you have needs you did not anticipate and discuss at the start of a hire, or if your sitter turned out to be brilliant at sewing costumes or cooking for the whole family and you’d like this to be a part of their duties, revisit the work agreement with your nanny, ask if they are comfortable taking on these responsibilities, and compensate accordingly. The clearer you can make your agreements, the less risk for confusion or dissatisfaction, and the less risk your nanny will want to head for the door.
The reason we bring up these scenarios is because these things happen on a regular basis. We want to empower parents to be mindful of the working relationship with their nannies and babysitters, because this is what leads to a long successful partnership with stability for both the family and the nanny. Have you recognized any missteps that lost you a favorite caregiver and made you rethink your approach? Let us know on our Instagram or Facebook. As always, you can get the latest scoop on being a star employer that nannies will fight to work for - and regular tips in parenting - through our newsletter.