Is your nanny leaving? Here’s how to handle it
As a parent, finding out that your nanny is leaving can be a real heart-wringer. Whether your nanny is moving on to a new opportunity, relocating, or simply taking a break, it's easy to get overwhelmed – both by the emotional component and by logistical to-dos.
But don’t worry, we’ve got you. it’s possible to prepare for and handle the end of a nanny job with grace, love, and peace of mind. We’ve put together a comprehensive guide to help you and your family prepare for your nanny's departure, ensuring that everyone involved feels respected and supported.
Preparing your children
Children often form strong bonds with their caregivers, and the news of a nanny leaving can be difficult for them to process. Little kids often don’t think of the nanny being at work while with them, so how could the nanny leave them for another job?
It's important to approach this conversation with care and empathy. At the same time, it can be an excellent lesson for kiddos in separations, and learning that saying goodbye-for-now doesn’t mean there isn’t loads of love involved.
Be honest, but age-appropriate: Explain the situation to your children in a way they can understand. Younger children may need a simple explanation like, "Nanny is going bye bye and they’ll come visit," while older children can handle more details. For young kiddos, it may be too abstract to start talking about it far in advance, while older kids might appreciate the chance to prepare and process as long as possible.
Validate their feelings: Allow your children to express their emotions. They might feel sad, angry, or confused, and it's important to acknowledge these feelings without dismissing them.
Reassure them: Remind your children that while their nanny is leaving, they are still loved and cared for by you and others in their lives. You can also emphasize that it's okay to stay in touch with their nanny if both parties are open to it.
Involve your nanny: The nanny will no doubt be having their own conversations with your kids, but it might be nice for everyone to chat about it together. This way your children can see that both parties validate how your kids feel, and how they are in agreement about what is happening, even if it might not entirely be that way on the adult level.
Figure out logistics
The transition period can be smoother if both you and your nanny are clear on the logistical details. Here’s how to ensure that everything is addressed.
Plan a dedicated meeting: Set aside time for a private conversation with your nanny to discuss the logistics of their departure. This meeting should be separate from any emotional conversations or farewells.
Discuss the end date: Confirm the final working day and ensure it aligns with both your needs and your nanny’s plans.
Review responsibilities: Make a checklist of tasks that need to be handed over, such as school pick-ups, managing household schedules, and any ongoing projects the nanny was handling.
Don’t forget to express your appreciation
When a nanny leaves, it’s important to recognize the time and care they’ve dedicated to your family. Even if the nanny is leaving you for another family, or you really wish they weren’t going, they’ve been an important part of your family’s day-to-day, and most likely you and your children have been very important to them as well.
Leaving a nanny job isn’t like leaving any-old office job, there are strong relationships and often lots of love involved. Expressing appreciation is a powerful, positive way to close out your time working together, and can be an important part of everyone’s process.
Thank them sincerely: A heartfelt thank-you can go a long way. Acknowledge the positive impact they've had on your children and your household.
Consider a farewell gift: A small, thoughtful gift or a handwritten note from your family, especially from your children, can be a touching way to say goodbye.
Host a farewell gathering: Depending on your nanny's preferences and your working relationship, you might consider organizing a small farewell event. This can be an informal gathering with your family to celebrate the time spent together. It will be a fun send-off, a positive experience for your kiddos, and the chance to make sure there’s a little more time for goodbyes than on the normal busy weekday handovers.
Practical details on the last day
Before your nanny leaves, there are some practical steps to ensure everything is in order.
Top-tip: Set up a checklist early on, and ask the nanny to add to it anything you may have missed. This will make it easier on the actual day to make sure you’re getting it all.
Retrieve house keys and access cards: Make sure all keys, security codes, and access cards are returned and updated as needed.
Cancel or transfer permissions: If your nanny had access to your child's school or extracurricular activities, be sure to inform the relevant parties about the change.
Review financial matters: Settle any outstanding payments, including any reimbursements or final wages, and ensure that any shared accounts, like grocery delivery or ride-sharing apps, are updated.
Stay in touch!
Just because your nanny is leaving doesn’t mean it has to be the end of your relationship. If your nanny was a great fit, there are ways to maintain a positive connection.
For your kiddos, it may be important to get to hear from the nanny now and again, to help with the separation and their sense of security. For you, a nanny who leaves to pursue other avenues may still be available for babysitting in the future or just a good person to keep in your circle.
Discuss future possibilities: Let your nanny know if you'd be open to them babysitting occasionally or helping during busy periods. This can be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Stay in touch: Keep in touch through occasional updates or holiday greetings. This can help maintain the relationship, making future collaborations easier.
Provide a reference: Offering to write a recommendation or act as a reference can be an invaluable way to show your appreciation and help them in their next role.
You have feelings, too
It’s natural for parents to feel a range of emotions when a nanny leaves, regardless of the reason. This can be a difficult adjustment, especially if you’ve formed a strong bond with them.
Recognize your feelings: You might feel sadness, relief, or even anxiety about the transition. These emotions are all valid and important to acknowledge.
Try not to take it personally: Your nanny's decision to leave is often about their own life circumstances. Whether it’s for personal growth, a career change, or family reasons, their departure doesn’t diminish their care for your family. At the end of the day, no matter how much your nanny loves your family, this is also a professional setting for them, and they may need to make the changes that help them get their life where they want to go.
Reflect on the experience: Take some time to think about the positive aspects of the time your nanny spent with your family. This reflection can help you move forward with a sense of closure and gratitude.
Do you need a new nanny?
The departure of a nanny can be a significant moment in the life of your family. By approaching the situation with thoughtfulness, clear communication, and mutual respect, you can ensure that this transition is as smooth as possible for everyone involved.
However, having a nanny leave might also mean you find yourself without childcare. This is where we are happy to come in. As a long-time nanny agency, helping busy families in cities both big and smaller find wonderful matches in experienced, dedicated, and loving nannies and babysitters is all we do. And we can help you transition from one caregiver to the next, for seamless childcare – and a new nanny who knows just how to help your kiddos along as they say goodbye to one nanny and become ready to say “yay, hi!” to the next.
Reach out to us today and let a dedicated member of our team help you find the next right person for you.