Nervous about introducing a new nanny? Here's our co-founder’s method.
This message comes from you straight from our co-founder, Dara Epstein, a parent who, like so many other parents, has taken the leap to find support and joy through the help of nannies and babysitters.
By Dara Epstein
Dear Fellow Parent,
You’d think that as a former nanny and the founder of a nanny agency, bringing a new caregiver into my home would be a breeze. The truth is, even for me, and even when I work with my own nanny agency to find caregivers that are already prescreened, it takes a time investment at the jump (my time as a parent + our recruitment team and booking team), as well as the financial investment of appropriately valuing the caregiver in my home. All of that said, taking that deep breath and asking for support is in a lot of ways, the most overwhelming part of it.
If you're feeling the trifecta of anxiety, overwhelm, and mental and physical exhaustion, just as the recent surgeon general warning outlined, you are far from alone. Over the past 15 years of running our agency, I've talked with so many parents who share these same concerns. That being said, I've also learned that with a little preparation and the right approach, having the help of a sitter or a nanny can become a positive experience for both you and your child.
Our step-by-step process in working with a babysitter for the first time
Rare image of my husband and me on a date night (an image of the two of us is rare, thankfully not the date night!)
In the hopes that it may be helpful to you if you’re just starting out on the babysitting journey, I’d like to share how my family approached it. This method has helped us to where we are today, with a rock star nanny and a handful of sitters we can call as needed – a group of caregivers we all love and trust.
Here's how we made that happen:
FaceTime intro ahead of time, without kids
When working with a pre-vetted nanny, for instance through an agency that has already checked credetials, experience, and references, we opt for a quick FaceTime call. This intro gives us the chance to get to know our sitter a little better, get a sense of their approach, and give them a rundown of our plans for the first sit, enabling everyone to be on the same page and provide the ultimate support for our kiddos.
We also like to read the reference reports from the agency, to get a sense of other parents’ experience with the caregiver.Choose the right time
We try to introduce new caregivers on weekends when neither my husband nor I are working. This allows us to be fully present without the stress of our regular weekday routines.Prepare our kids ahead of time
We let our kids know the day before and the morning of, that the person is coming by and that we're going to meet a new friend today.Create a welcoming environment
We'll set aside the first hour to spend with our kids and the caregiver all together. Often we'll make a little snack and invite the person over for that upon arrival. This sets the space for everyone to feel comfortable.Engage in shared activities
After a snack, we'll often ask our kids if they want to show the person their room. We'll all go together, and get a game or activity started.Gradually step away
Once we can tell our kids are feeling a little more comfortable, we let them know we're going to head out for just a little while and we'll be home soon. We typically do something on the shorter side the first time, go out for brunch or a bicycle ride or an early dinner (home before bedtime).
We've done this a number of times, with great success. While the time investment might feel a little much up front, it helps to ease the kids' fears around new people in general (good for them), and it's allowed us to create a super robust sitter pool for when we need last minute help/if our nanny calls out/if we want to go on a date night, etc. (great for us)!
Real life example: Yesterday evening, our nanny, Emily, called out for the next day due to a migraine. I turned to my 2-year-old and let her know, asking who she wanted us to check in with to see if they might be available. I was able to offer the names of five different caregivers, whom we work with in a sort of rotation when evening, weekend, or a fill-in need comes up. She asked if Kate might be available, since we haven’t seen her in a little while. Five minutes later, Kate was confirmed, and I wrote to Emily to let her know I hope she feels better soon, and I’m here if she needs anything.
What’s to be won? Peace of mind.
Picture this: you hand over your child to a trusted caregiver that your child adores, closing the door behind you with zero tears (on both your kiddo’s end and yours, let’s be honest). Now suddenly you have the freedom to enjoy a date night, attend that yoga class, or simply run errands without worry. You return home to find your kiddo happy and full of stories (and oftentimes, art projects as proof!) about the fun they had.
Not only does this give you much-needed personal time, but it also enriches your child's life. Maybe the sitter has craft skills galore, musical talents, or is happy to take your kiddo to the science museum that you just never have time for. They also gain confidence interacting with new people, which will make the transition to preschool or school so much easier. It's a win-win situation..
We're here to help you get there
There’s also a real shortcut here that I haven’t mentioned, that will help you feel more confident about your new sitter before they’ve even stepped foot inside your home:
Working with previously vetted and personally matched caregivers immediately gives you the leg up on your worries.
Have a 2-month-old you’ve never handed off to anyone else? You’ll want a babysitter who has experience with infants, with references who say they’re the dreamiest person when it comes to the little ones. Have a 4-year-old with activities across town? You’ll want a city-savvy babysitter with a proven record of navigating the subway system or rush hour traffic and making it on time.
That’s why we’ve created Always On, our on-demand babysitting service. We’ll connect you with trusted, talented, fully screened childcare professionals with the skills to hit the ground running, via direct personal curation from a Family Specialist on our team. We get to know you so we can find the right person for our needs.
Let's take the first step together
If you're curious or have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact us. If you are ready to get started and talk with a dedicated member of our team about your needs, tell us about your family via the button below.
Let's work together to create a nurturing and enjoyable experience for your kiddo—and give you the peace of mind you deserve.
Yours in Parenthood,
Dara Epstein,
co-founder, Smart Sitting