How to rebuild trust when hiring a nanny (again)
It can be hard to hire a nanny when you’ve been burned before.
Breaking up with a nanny is hard to do
Maybe your nanny left abruptly without notice. Maybe their actions or reactions to something meant you no longer felt comfortable working with them. Or maybe, your nanny left under the most compassionate of circumstances, but you still feel heartbroken about losing such an important, lovely part of your daily life.
Whatever the reason, ending one working relationship is really hard - and starting a new one can feel even more daunting.
If you are a parent who feels your ability to trust a new nanny hire has taken a hit, we have some advice from our years of helping families (our own included) about how to make it work with someone new.
How to rebuild trust with a nanny hire
First, it’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling. If you’re nervous about hiring a new nanny, let yourself sit with that feeling and remember that it’s totally valid. Leaving your kids in someone else’s care is a big deal, and you want that person to be great! Acknowledging your feelings will also make you aware of your needs for the new nanny, and make it easier to set that relationship up for success.
Be thorough in your new nanny hiring process.
Sometimes all it takes is a referral from a trusted parent to know the sitter you’re hiring is going to be great fun with your kids. But for a long-term childcare hire, and especially after you’ve had a bad experience, a more thorough hiring process will be your best friend. Check several references from previous employers, ask them specifically about the things that worry you. Schedule a paid trial for a few hours to test the potential working relationship.
Explain the situation to your new nanny.
Once you’ve found a new nanny, let them know where you’re coming from. Tell them if you’re anxious about working with someone new, or that you went through a bad experience before. This way, you can work out a few more checks and balances, especially in the beginning, so you feel more comfortable without the nanny feeling micromanaged or suspected. For instance, ask the new nanny for more check-ins throughout the day, and let them know that as time goes on, you can reduce that or phase it out when you feel more comfortable.
Be involved with your new nanny.
At the start of a new hire, if you are able, it might be helpful for you to take a day or two off and spend it with the nanny and your kiddos. This will give you a chance to see your nanny in action, see how they relate to the kids, as well as how they communicate with you. Hopefully, seeing everything go off without a hitch and your kids squeal with laughter, will help put you at ease so you can return to your own tasks and know that they are well taken care of.
Communication, communication, communication.
This rule goes for any relationship, really, but even more so when you’re worried about the hire. By keeping open communication, being clear and direct about your concerns, and giving the nanny space to really tell you what’s going on, both sides will feel seen without unfair judgment. It’ll be easier for the nanny to tell you if something went wrong during the day if they know they will not be immediately punished for it.
Work with a nanny agency who knows its candidates.
If you’re worried about hiring someone new because of an issue with your previous nanny, it can be extra daunting to try gauging unknown candidates. That’s where a nanny agency can help. As a top nanny agency with well over a decade under our belt, we have learned the value in getting to know all our sitters and nannies beyond just the words on their resumé.
We screen each prospective nanny candidate, discussing their experience, real-life childcare scenarios, and their ideal positions, while also speaking with references and other checks for a full picture of who they are and what they bring to the table. This allows us to custom-tailor our candidate suggestions, long before you as a parent have even had to think about it.
We know how nerve-wracking and stressful hiring a nanny can be, and we are here to take those nerves out of the equation. This should be the goal of any nanny agency you choose to work with.
Let us find your new nanny
Hiring a new nanny after you’ve been burned may feel scary. But there are countless wonderful, experienced, warm, reliable caregivers out there and one who is just right for your family. By showing yourself a little grace and offering your prospective hire a little insight, you will set the foundation for a beautiful new working relationship and a wonderful new addition to your kids’ lives.
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