How to prepare for leaving a family as a nanny
Leaving a nanny job, whether by your choice or the family's, is a significant moment. You've likely formed close bonds with the kiddos and parents, making the transition emotional and maybe more challenging than if it was an office job.
With careful preparation, however, you can ensure the separation is positive, professional, and leaves the door open for future opportunities. Here's how to navigate this important time.
Preparing for the conversation with the family
When it’s time to discuss your departure with the family, it’s essential to approach the conversation with care and thoughtfulness.
Choose the right time: Timing is crucial. Ask the parents to set aside some time, when they are not rushing out the door or taking over hungry kiddos. You want both of you to be fully present to discuss this important matter.
Be clear and respectful: Explain your reasons for leaving in a clear and respectful manner. Whether it’s to pursue a new opportunity, further your education, or because of a change in your personal life, honesty is key. This doesn’t mean you have to share every detail, but transparency helps maintain a good relationship.
Wondering when is the right time to tell the family? Here’s all the guidance you need on how far in advance to give notice.
Managing the logistics of leaving
Just as you’ve been diligent in your work, it’s important to be thorough in your departure.
Create a transition plan: Work with the family to develop a transition plan that minimizes disruption to the children’s routine. This might involve helping to train a new nanny, creating a list of daily routines, or leaving notes about the children’s preferences and needs.
Hand over responsibilities and permissions: Ensure that all responsibilities are handed over smoothly. This includes returning any items such as keys, credit cards, or anything else the family has entrusted to you. If you have access to certain areas or accounts, like school pick-up lists or household security codes, make sure these permissions are updated or removed as necessary as well
Saying goodbye to the children
Leaving the children you’ve cared for can be the hardest part of the process – for both you and them. Let that be a testament to how much you’ve loved working together, and a reminder that your love for the kiddos isn't’ affected by your professional choices.
Have a gentle conversation: Depending on the children’s age, have a conversation that’s age-appropriate. Explain that you’re leaving but that they’re still cared for and loved, and that leaving doesn’t make you love them any less. Reassure them that they’ll be okay and that you’ll always love the time you spent together.
Leave something behind: Consider leaving a small, thoughtful gift or letter for the children. It could be a book you’ve read together, a favorite game, or a photo of your time with them. This will help them feel like they still have a part of you and your relationship with them.
Stay in touch: If appropriate and the family agrees, offer to stay in touch. This could mean occasional babysitting, sending the children a card during the holidays, or planning a super special hangout on a weekend day in the not-so distant future. This will make the separation easier on both you and the family and will maintain a positive relationship even after you stop working for them.
Keeping the door open for future opportunities
Even if you’re moving on, it’s smart to leave the door open for potential future work with the family. Maybe you’re starting grad school and can’t be a full time nanny anymore, but would love to hop in as a date night sitter?
Let the family know that you’d be happy to help with occasional babysitting. You can also consider staying connected through social media or occasional check-ins. This keeps you on their radar if they need help in the future.
Don’t forget references!
Parents listen to other parents, so a good reference can be an invaluable asset for your future job opportunities. Always make sure to get a reference or recommendation from any job that’s gone well.
You may ask the family if they’ll act as a reference that other families can call, or you may prefer a written letter of recommendation. If you’re asking for a letter, make sure to ask well in advance of your last day. Once you’ve left, it’ll be so easy for that task to be forgotten. If you’re asking them to ask as a reference, check with the family a few days before you leave, as you start to wrap up your time with them.
If you’re not parting on a happy note
Not all departures are smooth, but even in difficult situations, it’s important to maintain professionalism. There are many reasons for this: you want to look out for the kiddos’ well-being and make sure you are getting compensated through your end date. For a long-term gig, you want to try to secure a positive reference, even if it ended on a less-than ideal note.
Keep communication open: If the relationship has been strained, try to keep communication open and non-confrontational. Focus on resolving any issues calmly and with a focus on the children’s well-being.
End on a positive note: Regardless of the circumstances, aim to end on a positive note. Thank the family for the opportunity, and always make sure to let the kiddos know how much you care for them and that you’re not leaving through any fault of theirs. You never know what might happen in the future, and trying to end on a positive note will probably benefit you in the long run.
Handling conflicts is a difficult – but super important – part of any nanny job. You can read our guide to handling conflicts with parents here, and of course, if you are a nanny with Smart Sitting, you can always reach out directly to our team if you need help navigating the end of a working relationship.
Let us help you
Leaving a nanny job is never easy, but with careful planning and thoughtful communication, you can ensure the transition is smooth for both you and the family. By being clear, respectful, and maintaining professionalism, you set yourself up for positive references and future opportunities, while also providing the family with the closure they need – plus, you’re giving the kiddos you’ve loved oodles of comfort and worthwhile lessons as your parting gift.
Are you about to leave your nanny job? As a nanny agency with years of experience supporting nannies and families, we understand the complexities of these transitions, and we’re in your corner. If you’re looking for guidance or support, we’re here to help. You can reach out to us for advice, resources, and to connect with new opportunities. (And if you’re not yet a Smartsitter, but are an experienced, dedicated, and fantastic nanny or babysitter, get started by filling out an application via the button below!)
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