Communication tips for nannies to avoid problems with parents
Any relationship, professional or personal, is going to run into obstacles at some point. But when you’re working in somebody’s home and there are children involved, even smaller problems with parents can feel monumental.
As an experienced nanny agency, we at Smart Sitting have long helped parents and nannies resolve issues, and we’ve noticed that so often it comes down to communication. When there’s a snafu in communication, everything gets harder. That’s why we’ve gathered a few of our top tips to avoid bigger problems with parents and a tougher work environment in the long run.
1. Dare to talk about it with the parents
Step one is to acknowledge the problem. It may be tempting to just ignore it, but things have a tendency to stick around and get worse if not dealt with. The thing is, sometimes a communication snag can turn out to be a very small, easily handled thing, but if it is ignored, it becomes much harder to handle later on.
Say, for instance, that the parents are consistently late in paying you by a day or two, not out of malice but just forgetfulness. They might not realize you rely on timely payment for your own bills and spending, so they continue to pay you when they remember and think nothing of it. Meanwhile, you may feel a growing resentment that they don’t realize how important this is, and start to think that they don’t value your work. This situation could be fixed in a matter of minutes, if it’s caught early!
By daring to talk about conflicts, you not only prove that you are a professional, mature employee, but you give yourself the opportunity to have a happy work environment.
2. Set aside child-free time for conversations
For bigger things that need talking through, it can be tempting to try to handle them when the parents come home at the end of your shift. But often this is a time when parents are tired from work, the kiddos want their parents’ full attention, or you have one foot out the door and aren’t able to give a conversation the time it deserves.
Instead, alert the parents that you’d like to chat through some things and see if you can set aside a time when the kids are occupied elsewhere or you can speak with one parent without being disturbed. This will make both you and the parent better at talking through conflicts in a less stressed, more focused way.
3. Follow up about conversations
We’ve seen several instances of conflicts where a nanny has brought up an issue and then quickly backed away, whether it was resolved or not. Sometimes issues take time to work through, and if it’s a complicated topic, it may need revisiting to see how things are developing.
If you brought something up to your employers, make it a point to bring it up again later, whether or not you feel like the situation has improved. You can do this either to let them know you feel better about things or to check in with how they think things are going.
Circling back comes across as professional just as much as it opens up for both sides to either keep adjusting or to affirm that things are going great - which is easy to forget but often feels really good to know!
4. Involve a neutral third party
For more complicated conflicts, it can be really hard to handle them on your own. As a nanny, you don’t have an HR department or manager to turn to, and even feeling like you are alone against two parents can set you up for a stressful imbalance. That’s why working with a nanny agency you trust is so important.
The nanny agency is there to help both nannies and parents, so both you and your employer can rely on them to achieve the best solution for both parties. Beyond that, a nanny agency has also seen most of the usual conflicts between parents and caregivers and can help you both navigate the conflict toward a solution that works for everyone and gets you back on track.
A good nanny agency will also be there for you even to talk through the smallest conflicts or give you advice so that you can return to your workplace armed with useful tools to approach any situation.
BONUS: why ignoring problems makes things worse for you
One thing we’ve seen time and time again is parents coming to us with the concern that a nanny is too rigid in their boundaries or ways. While we firmly believe in professional boundaries, some flexibility and openness is paramount for a smooth, happy working relationship and a breezy day for kiddos.
Digging a little deeper, we often find that nannies who are wary of being flexible at all have had previous employment with unresolved conflicts and issues concerning boundaries, and they are now trying to avoid getting into that same situation.
This is naturally very stressful for the nanny, and often tends to take away some of the joy of their work! So don’t be the nanny who leaves a job with an unresolved situation and makes your next job that much tougher from the get-go.
Give yourself the chance of happy working relationships by working through communication issues - and by working with a nanny agency you can always turn to when things get tough.
Ready to be an appreciated nanny by an agency that has your back?
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