Introducing your baby to your toddler
an these two become not just siblings, but besties, too?
In this blog post:
Bringing a new baby into a home where a toddler already lives presents unique challenges – and beautiful moments of bonding. You may have wanted kids close in age in the hope that they’d be emotionally close, to get the diaper years out of the way quickly, or some other reason that works for your family.
Even when it’s planned, having two under two can feel daunting. Here are some insights and tips to help manage this transition smoothly, enhancing the experience for parents, toddlers, and the new baby.
Understanding the Challenge
Toddler development: Introducing a new baby to a toddler requires careful handling, especially if your toddler is in the midst of the "terrible twos”. Toddlers are still developing their sense of independence and might not fully understand the concept of a new sibling, sharing, caring, or not getting to decide how the day is going to go.
Emotional readiness: Toddlers may exhibit jealousy or feel threatened by the need to share parental attention with a newborn. A newborn requires a lot of time and attention, and until now, your toddler has had all of your attention and love. No wonder it’s a rude awakening to have to share.
Preparing your toddler
To a toddler, a new baby may as well have arrived by stork. They don’t quite grasp time, things happening in the future, and the idea that things you can’t see might still be real. So the more you can help make baby’s arrival a real thing, the less of a shock it’ll be when that stork finally arrives.
Start discussions early
Begin talking about the new baby during the pregnancy. Explain in simple terms what it means to have a new brother or sister and that this family member will be living with you. Let the baby see the growing belly, or see pictures if you are adopting.Research together
Use children’s books about new siblings to help your toddler understand and connect with the concept of having a new baby in the house. Reading is a great way to start conversations on the right age-level and let your toddler get a sense of what’s happening.Involve them in preparations
A new baby is a very abstract idea for a toddler, so do as much as you can to make baby’s arrival a concrete event. Let your toddler help in preparing the baby’s nursery. This can include choosing a toy or picking a color for a blanket, making them feel involved and important.
Managing the introduction
A smooth and positive introduction to the new baby can help set the relationship off to a good start.
First meeting prep
Make the first meeting of your toddler and the new baby calm and controlled. If you are the one who had the baby and maybe were off in hospital for a day or two, let another family member or a nanny hold the baby initially so you can greet your toddler with open arms to avoid the feeling that this baby is taking all of your love.Gift exchange
Consider having a small gift that the 'baby' can give to the toddler, as a thanks for being my big sibling. The toddler can also give a present they picked out for the baby, to foster a positive relationship from both sides. Your toddler will feel involved and get lots of positive validation from you and other adults for being so kind to its baby sibling.
Everyday Strategies for Lasting Harmony
Bringing a baby into the family is a big change, and toddlers don’t necessarily love a big change, especially one that’s so out of their control. By maintaining the status quo as much as possible beyond the bombshell arrival of baby, your toddler can feel safe and comforted in the normalcy and have a better chance at adjusting to baby.
Maintain routines
Try to keep the toddler’s routine as normal as possible to provide stability. If they’re in a twos program, keep them there so that you’re not also taking away their friends. If you need your toddler to move to their own room or transition from the crib to a bed, do this well in advance of baby’s arrival so the toddler doesn’t feel like the baby is getting them kicked out.Dedicated one-on-one time
Try to make sure that you still spend one-on-one time with your toddler to reduce feelings of jealousy or neglect. It can be hard to fit it all in, but even a short moment of dedicated time without baby or phone can give your toddler a boost.Pile on the praise:
Toddlers are already used to a lot of negative attention and “no”-s as theyre working on testing boundaries and developing their independence. Instead of focusing on what they can’t do with the baby, try to compliment your toddler when they exhibit gentle or helpful behavior towards their new sibling. The more praise and positive reactions you heap on your toddler, the more they’ll want to keep treating their baby sibling nicely.
Lean on Your Nanny
A nanny can be invaluable during this transition. They can provide support to let you give focused attention to one child or the other. They are often skilled in managing sibling dynamics and can offer useful strategies and support. They can be that source of positive validation your toddler is craving, helping them feel good about their interactions with the baby. Additionally, sometimes toddlers might react better to changes when another caring adult helps ease the transition, especially if it’s someone they knew and loved before the baby arrived.
We’ve Got Your Back
Introducing a new baby to a toddler is a significant step that requires patience and strategy. If having a nanny or a childcare crew is part of your strategy, let Smart Sitting help. We’ve connected families and sitters for 15 years, with hand-picked matches between busy families and extraordinary childcare providers to get you just the right person for your needs. Fill out an application via the button below to get started, and let a member of our team get to know you and support you on your way to being a family with two under two!
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