Welcoming Your Second Child: A Guide for Expanding Families

The stats don’t lie, there’s a baby boom happening right now. This means that loads of families are expecting a new addition to their family – and for many it means there’s a baby sibling on the way. 


Welcoming a second (or third, or fourth) child into your family is an exciting and transformative experience. However, it also introduces new challenges as you balance the needs of your growing family. From navigating pregnancy with a toddler to introducing your older child to their new sibling, this guide offers supportive advice and practical solutions for soon-to-be parents of two.

a child kissing a mom's pregnant belly in an article about welcoming a second child

If you thought it was tough being pregnant the first time, now you have to do it while also running around after a kiddo! This is especially true for toddler parents, whose little still needs a lot of attention and help. 


Keep your toddler engaged and active by incorporating them into your daily routine as much as possible. Activities like gentle walks, prenatal yoga (where kids can join), and simple games can help keep you both active and connected. Use their nap time for your nap time as well, you need the rest. 

Preparing for Baby’s Arrival

Both you and your kiddo will benefit from a bit of prep work before baby comes. This can help you feel more in control and create a more positive experience, for both you and your older kiddo. 

How to Tell Your Child about the Baby

Use simple language to explain to your toddler that a new baby is coming. Picture books about becoming a big brother or sister can be very helpful in making this concept more relatable and exciting for them. 

For little kids, the concept of pregnancy and a baby inside the belly are too abstract, but as mom’s belly grows, you can start talking about it and imagining the baby. Older kids may have a better sense of what a sibling is and can get excited even though they may not fully understand it. Let your child fantasize about what they will be like and maybe things they can do together.

Make Childcare Plans for Delivery Day

If you don't have family nearby, it's essential to arrange reliable childcare for your older child when it's time to go to the hospital. Consider options such as:

  1. Trusted friends or family members: Someone your child knows well and feels comfortable with

  2. A professional nanny or babysitter: Hiring a nanny or babysitter a few weeks before the due date can help your child adjust to another caregiver when you are at the hospital

Create a Special Bag for Your Child

Prepare a special going-away bag with your older child that they can bring if they need to stay with a caregiver when baby comes. The bag can include favorite toys, books, and snacks. 

Ideally, it may feel more familiar and safe to have the caregiver/family member come to your home and take care of the older sibling there. However, if you want to do some of the pre-labor work at home, you may feel more comfortable being there without also having to mind your older child. Think through this beforehand and make a plan that works for your family. 

Introducing the Older Sibling to the New Baby

Once baby is here, there’s a lot going on right away. You the parents may be exhausted, overwhelmed, absolutely infatuated, and at once longing after your older kiddo(s) and excited to see them again. 

Often, older siblings get to come to the hospital for a first meeting there, before mom and baby get to come home. Make the first introduction calm and peaceful. Allow your older child to see and touch the baby, if they're interested, under close supervision.

Take the help from a co-parent, partner, or other adult so that you can also shower your older kid with love. If you had the baby and are in a hospital bed, it’s great for your kiddo to see that you’re doing alright and are still your normal self – even if you may be feeling anything but. 

2 Helpful Tips for Sibling Bonds


  1. Gifts from Baby:
    Some parents find it helpful to have a small gift that the "baby" gives to the older sibling. You can say the baby whispered that their older sister or brother would love this. This can help in making the new baby a positive presence in their life right from the start. In the weeks before baby’s arrival, you can also encourage the older sibling to pick out a gift for the baby – which will make them feel involved and important in the baby’s life. 

  2. Involve Your Toddler in Baby Care:
    Involve your older child in the baby’s care as much as is appropriate for their age. This could be helping with baths, picking out clothes, or fetching diapers. It helps them feel important and included, and like they haven’t lost you to this new, wrinkly pea. 

Adjusting to Life with Two

It’s common for parents to worry about dividing their attention between an older sibling who never had to share your love and a baby who needs 24/7 attention. Be sure to set aside one-on-one time with your older child to do something special, reinforcing that they are still very much loved and valued. If there are two of you parents, help each other in this by taking care of one child each. 

Keeping your older child’s routine as normal as possible can help provide a sense of security. Predictable routines amidst the new changes can be comforting. If your older kid is in preschool or daycare, let them keep going there. If they have playdates, see if the other parent would feel comfortable taking care of your kiddo without you being there for a short while. 

When You Don't Have a Village

Sometimes you just need to rant about how tough it is, sometimes you need someone to bring you a casserole. We are not meant to be able to do all of this ourselves. 

'As families expand, a lot of parents turn to their extended family for support. Not everyone has that village, however. If you don’t have family nearby, building a support network is crucial. 

Perhaps local parent groups, classes, or online communities where you can connect with other parents can offer such a support network. Sometimes you just need to rant about how tough it is, sometimes you need someone to bring you a casserole. We are not meant to be able to do all of this ourselves. 

Consider Hiring Long-term Help

The new village, perhaps especially for families living in larger cities, often includes professional childcare help. If possible, consider the benefits of professional childcare help like hiring a part-time nanny, who can ease the transition and provide additional support during this busy time. They can be responsible for the older siblings entirely, act as a “mother’s helper” type support for mom and baby, or can be a mix. 

You might also look into hiring a newborn care specialist (or NCS, formerly called “baby nurse”) to help with the baby during the first few weeks, giving you more energy and time to devote to your toddler or older child. 

A long-term nanny can also adjust to your family’s varying needs during this time, and at a time when both parents may be back at work. Sometimes it’s hard to know just what you’re looking for. At Smart Sitting, we’ve helped families find just the right nanny for their needs, and we’d be happy to help you, too. Let one of our dedicated specialists get to know you and your family, and help build the village you need as your family grows. 


Get started in a few minutes by clicking the button below, and you’ll soon be on your way to finding a person who can connect with your older kids, your baby, and you, for whatever support you need. Now that’s preparation that pays off.

Ps. For more support in parenting from your Smart Sitting village, sign up for our newsletter!

Cajsa Landin