When Is My Child Ready for a Nanny? The Real Answer
When is my child ready for a nanny? If you’re asking this, you’re already doing the thoughtful parent thing – and you’re not the only new parent with this question!
Based on our 16+ years of running a childcare agency, and backed by research, here’s the short answer: your child is ready for a nanny when your family needs a nanny. Let’s dive into how that’s true.
A simple answer can still be right
The bottom line is: quality childcare supports both children and the adults who love them. The majority of children under 5 years in the U.S. spend significant time in non-parental care, and outcomes hinge more on the quality and consistency of that care than on a magic “readiness” age.
Whether you are looking for a nanny because you’re going back to work after parental leave or for any other reason: your needs are legitimate, and securing reliable childcare will help you be a bette parent overall. Babies and toddlers thrive with responsive, reliable caregiving, that is true – but the person offering that caregiving doesn’t have to be you 24/7.
Attachment 101: Baby bonds with more than one caregiver
Attachment research is reassuring here: young children can form secure bonds with multiple caregivers when interactions are warm, predictable, and responsive. You may hear about attachment as a relationship built between parent and child, but the key here really is that it’s a person who is frequently present in the child’s life.
Part of your hesitation may be that bringing in other adults would weaken the bond you are building with your baby. Evidence, however, repeatedly shows that a nurturing nanny can expand your child’s circle of security, not dilute it.
Separation anxiety is not a readiness test
Did your baby laugh and coo at every stranger who picked them up in the first few months of life, only to cling to you terrified if grandma so much as looks at them? Good news, your baby is following normal developmental milestones!
Crying at goodbyes – especially around 8–12 months – is typical for development and actually signals healthy attachment. Introduce a new caregiver at this stage and you may be tempted to think it’s a bad fit or that your baby isn’t ready for an outsider to come in.
Give your child and the caregiver some time, let them stick to your normal routines and get some time on their own to bond. Your child will learn that this is a person within the circle of trust – and most of the time they’ll settle as soon as you leave and the caregiver becomes the primary caretaker. Your child just wants to know that they’re safe and taken care of. You may also want to consider hiring someone before or after this period, just to give yourself a break.
A note about your own separation anxiety
Your baby may not be the only one crying when you say goodbye to each other. The more calm and confident you can appear to your child at goodbye, the more they will feel safe and like you’re leaving them in the hands of someone trusted. Feel free to burst into tears as soon as you close the door behind you – you wouldn’t be the first parent to do so. Scheduling a few shorter shifts on the nanny’s first week can also help you both feel calmer.
Take the gentle on-ramp
You don’t need weeks of “readiness training.” In fact, if your child is younger, they won’t be able to “prepare” for something that’s about to happen in the future. But there are a few things you can do once the nanny starts that will set a reassuring, positive tone for everyone involved.
Try a warm-up week. Begin with shorter shifts or overlap while you’re home. Let the nanny lead simple care moments (diaper, bottle, stroller loop) so your child experiences comfort with them. Let them start to build a bond with play, while you are still nearby or shortly returning.
Create a predictable hand-off. Babies and young children thrive on routine – even a four-month-old can recognize recurring rituals. Use this to your advantage by saying goodbye the same way each day: maybe a favorite song, a sweet cuddle, or handing over a lovey, then a confident goodbye. This beats long, hesitant exits that leave the child unsure. Keep your message aligned, so that you and your nanny are equally predictable in the process.
Maximize reassurance. A photo of you nearby and a familiar lovey, coupled with the typical routine helps your child feel secure. A few check-ins by text with your nanny, meanwhile, can help you stay steady – a picture of your smiling baby is worth a million bucks, trust us. Nobody needs to do huge excursions and exciting distractions, just a secure and patient routine helps everyone feel their best.
Quality care helps you get there
Decades of research link high-quality, stable, responsive care with positive social, language, and cognitive outcomes. The key elements: warm interactions, safety, and reliable routines are all things both you and a great nanny can do for your kid.
That’s the kind of care you should be looking for: a nanny who can tune into cues, respond promptly, and create predictable days. Those moment-to-moment exchanges (plus text check-ins for your peace of mind) are what help your kiddo be ready for a nanny, not the other way around.
We’ve talked before about how it takes a village to raise a child, only, these days that village looks different than it used to. Hiring a nanny or a roster of regularly available babysitters may be just the support you need. At Smart Sitting, we get to know caregivers suggesting them to families, which enables us to make more thoughtful matches based on what they offer and what you’re looking for. So if you’re wondering if your child is ready for a nanny, we’ve got the nanny who will help you all feel ready.
Reach out to us today and a dedicated team member will take it from there. You’re doing what you need to do for your family’s overall best – and we’d be truly happy to help you get there.
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